Jingle Bells at Jongleurs

Now about this Christmas Do. I distracted myself by talking about minicab drivers & their lack of direction. Driving-wise that is, not career or life-wise. I just couldn't believe it when he asked me the way! I gave him the full address and I'd even printed a map from the Jongleurs website, but he still didn't have a clue. Eventually, he went as far as he could go in Watford High Street, then dropped me off outside a lap-dancing club. Now I ask you, is that any way to treat a lady?

So there I was, dressed up to the nines and all alone, down a dark side street, outside a lap-dancing club. I suddenly remembered the wonders of mobile technology, but decided not to pull out my cute, pink mobile just yet. I needed to get past the tall guy in the shop doorway, hiding his face beneath the wide brim of his hat & turned-up collar of his long, black coat. He was glancing at me, furtively, from the corner of his eye. "Maybe he's a pimp" I thought, "on the lookout for that much-sought-after genre of females: middle-aged, reasonably well-preserved & desperately in need of a few bob to get their kids through Uni". But I wasn't having any of that... "Oh No Buster, you make one move on me and you're pussy food.... I mean cat food, kitty litter, whatever....just don't even think about it, OK?" So with those words in mind, I tottered past him, in my high-heeled boots, & out into the main street, where I pulled out my phone. "Kerry, help me!", I whined, "The driver was a moron & I don't know where I am!". "Where are you?" she said helpfully. Frantically, I looked around for landmarks. "I'm near Burger King" I said. "Oh No! Flossie... you're quite a long way away!" Great! You wait till I get my hands on that driver! Or better still, I'll make friends with that pimp & get him to do my dirty work! But in the meantime, I had a Christmas Do to attend, so off I trotted, as fast as my spaghetti legs could carry me (damn you Shelley... can I never forget?). Down the High Street I went, under the bridge, past Chicago, like Kerry told me, & there it was.... at last, the bright lights of Jongleurs!